Capt. Mark East’s Advice to the Careworn, Confused, Lovelorn and Other Outdoor People

Dear Mr, Capt. East,
My husband and I have dreamed and schemed for years to open a restaurant based on a fish menu. His father and grandfather before him were fishermen and we have great Italian recipes from my side of the family. We only have a small amount of money to start with.
Signed,
Mrs. Fish Dreams

Dear Mrs. Fish Dreams,
Over the years, I've had a number of people wanting me to go in the restaurant business. Once or twice I've come close. Then I think about the brutally long hours, today's thin margins and high cost of a diminishing resource like fish, and the fact it's so difficult to find help unless they're from Eastern Europe or Central America. (I have troubling speaking English) Set aside two nights a week, set up your living room with tables and chairs. Invite family and friends on a paying basis. You will last four months and only lose half of your life's earnings. If you do decide to take the plunge, write me again, I've got some killer recipes.

Dear Capt. Mark East,
I am a retired engineer and I want to learn to fly fish and tie flies. Only problem is, I lost an arm in the service and have no way to retrieve line. I think I've figured out the fly tying using “Goop”. You're great with suggestions. Can you think of anything for me?
Signed,
Wannabe Fly Chucker

Dear Wannabe Fly Chucker,
First let me commend you for the desire and thank you for your service to this great country. There's nothing quite so rewarding as flyfishing, especially in the ocean. I've given your challenge a good deal of thought and the only thing I can recommend is to convince your wife or girl friend to get involved with you, have them do the line retrieve and you cast the flies. Only other way might be to rig a rod holder on your belt and an open face hook on your chest for the line. Good fishing to you and thank you again.

Write: capmarke@gmail.com