Capt. Mark East’s Advice to the Careworn, Confused, Lovelorn and Other Outdoor People

Dear Mr. East,
Well, Christmas is over for another year and my husband in his inevitable, focused, way gave me a new pair of waders..my last pair from 3yrs. ago are still in the original box, unworn. He also put some kind of a fancy pistol with 3 boxes of ammo and another net of which I have 4 under the tree with my name. He did remember to give me a bottle of perfume, the wrong one!! I hate fishing and hunting and am happy he gets out from under my feet to go. I don’t even like cooking the game. How do I get it through his thick skull?
Signed, Christmas Discouraged

Dear Christmas Discouraged,
Next Christmas wrap up about four frilly aprons, a few fry pans, some vegetable oil and a few feminine sprays in frilly paper for him.

Dear Capt.
I’m from Ohio and my husband is a deer hunter, an avid deer hunter and will drive great distances to hunt in new places. This year he was invited by a friend of a friend to hunt deer on land owned by a hunting club in Virginia. I was appalled to learn when he got back that they use dogs to chase the deer to hunters at particular stations. Why is this legal?
Signed Poor Deer Feelings

Dear Poor Deer Feelings,
At first glance I can understand your feelings; however, if you could have seen where I imagine your “unfeeling” husband hunted, you could understand why dogs are used. Man can hardly crawl in much of that country with the brambles and honey suckle so thick. Secondly, if the deer population isn’t kept in check, farmers pay the price.

Write: capmarke@gmail.com