Capt. Mark East’s Advice to the Careworn, Confused, Lovelorn and Other Outdoor People

Dear Sir East,
I think my husband has completely lost his mind and he’s dragging my only son with him. He’s going to take Terry along and they are going to spend a survival night in the woods ...in the winter I must add..with only matches, some light rope, and knives. He says it will be good training for both of them. Training for what??
Signed Woeful Mother

Dear Woeful Mother,
With all the dire warnings of imminent civilization collapse floating around the internet these days maybe you should be proud of the fact your husband wants to learn survival skills and teach your son as well. Lot to be said for getting young people away from their texting and do a personal “reality show.” I’m sure your husband is not taking responsibility lightly. Tell them you’ll have a big dinner waiting when they return.

Dear Cap’n East,
I’d like to really thank the Maine Warden Service for something they did for us this summer. I was so fierce to get on the water and wet our fishing lines that even tho I had licenses for the boat and fishing, they were back at camp, and only two life jackets were in the boat. When a warden came up alongside, he very politely asked whether we had caught anything. We had. I envisioned a night in the county jail!! Asked one at a time whether we had all the legal necessities. All answered “back at camp. Would you like to follow us back?” He replied, “No just keep fishing. Next time tho, I’d appreciate it if you took care.”
Signed, Thank You

Dear Thank You,
That was certainly a great gesture on his part and I’ll bet you will always check the “necessaries” when fishing or hunting from now on.

Write: capmarke@gmail.com