Capt. Mark East’s Advice to the Careworn, Confused, Lovelorn and Other Outdoor People

Dear Capt. East,
We live on the coast and my daughter has wanted to be a lobster fisherman since she was a little girl. She’s a teenager now and has her own boat and traps. She’s also a very gifted musician and writes her own music. My husband and I are so worried she won’t make the best choice for her career, Lobstering or music. Can you please advise us.
Signed, Hand Wringing Mother

Dear Hand Wringing Mother,
My advice to you and your husband is to encourage her to do both. The lobster fishing lady, Linda Greenlaw, writes lobster chronicles. Your daughter could write “The Lobster Overture” which would be a tremendous best seller. Imagine, boatbuilders would give a free CD of it with each new lobsterboat built. Every lobsterfisherman would be playing it as they fished and Maine could adopt it as it’s official overture. Wish her my best.

Dear Cap’n Mark,
My husband and I are planning a trip to Arizona to do a lot of hiking. My husband of many years is scared of heights and snakes. What should I do?
Signed, Wife of Scaredy Cat

Dear Wife of Scaredy Cat,
Well, you could leave him at the Airport Hilton and he could hike the various terminals. I have heard the Pima Indian tribe has started a guide service using yodeling dogs that you can hire which find snakes along the trails and scare them away with their yodels. They also make a liquor from the Saguarro cactus which though quite expensive (Saguarros are a revered cactus) will take care of your husband’s altitude problem. Use it sparingly.

Write: capmarke@gmail.com