Capt. Mark East’s Advice to the Careworn, Confused, Lovelorn and Other Outdoor People



Dear Capt. Mark,
My husband is a federal wildlife officer. He’s within two years of retirement. Pres. Obama has made major cuts in his division and he’s afraid he’ll be terminated. Luckily we have saved enough for retirement, but he’s worried about poachers and lawbreakers if there’s no one to patrol this area. It’s about all he can do to keep up as it is. What should he do?
Signed,
Wildlife Worried

Dear Wildlife Worried,
I’m afraid our country is in for real trouble whenever Washington politicians refuse to consider the environment over their pork preferences. Try getting help from state counterparts in petitioning the federal government to at least maintain status quo. Perhaps you could interest “60 Minutes” in an exposé. Show some pictures of dead ducks washed up on the beach.
Good luck.

 

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Dear Mr. East,
My Sportfishing business here in Louisiana was pretty much destroyed with the BP oil spill. It’s finally begun to make a turnaround this winter. However, I’m so far in debt to my parents just trying to keep food on the table for my family that even the amount we received from BP hasn’t really helped that much. You seem to have great advice. What could I do?
Signed,
Oweing

Dear Oweing,
Other than you folks getting more of the BP final settlements which will probably go into some nonsensical government waste- pool, you’ll have to use whatever resources available which I would guess is your boat. Perhaps you could expand the income generating time on it by doing dinner cruises, or sunset cocktail cruises. Shucked oysters and martinis, baked fish on a gas grill. Call me. I’ll be your first booking before you get so busy you won’t remember who gave you the idea.

Write: capmarke@gmail.com